Getting the Diagnosis

The journey through dementia can be daunting.  My father has the gift of conviction and is very convincing to outsiders who spend short periods of time with him.  Getting a diagnosis can be difficult when the general length of a doctors appointment is short.  There is a general fear in loss of dignity we all experience when we see a frustrated family member speaking on behalf of the patient.  Doctors will often skip over you and direct questions to the dementia patient.  This happens for several reasons.  The first is they are not legally obligated to speak to anyone other than the patient.  Consent for them to speak to you will be effective from obtaining an advanced medical directive.

An example:  My father and I were speaking to the doctor and my father said "I was a combat medic," which is completely false.  The doctor didn't know this wasn't true.  I looked at the doctor, made eye contact, and shook my head side to side to let him know this was not true.

The problem with dealing with medical faculty prior to an official diagnosis is their skepticism of you.  You have to understand they see fraud all the time.  Another hurdle to overcome.
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If your family is need of help, here are a few steps to force a timely diagnosis

• Document everything. 
• When your parent or loved one gets lost, forgets to turn off the stove, leaves the doors unlocked, etc.  If you have a smart phone that takes photos - photograph the evidence of dementia.  A video is helpful too.  Video tape your conversations with your loved one.  Ask them specific questions and note the time.  Several hours or even minutes later, shoot another video and ask them to recall the conversation.  This is the first step to getting a speedy diagnosis.
• If you do not lived with your loved one, try to document these occurrences in the time you spend with them.  
• Save, date, and keep all documentation in a file to show the physician or psychologist.
• Get more than one opinion.
• More often than not, it is difficult for a physician to make an informed decision with minimal time with the patient.
• If you walk away from a doctors visit with the frustrating comments "he/she seems fine to me," seek another opinion immediately.
• Request all medical documents and diagnosis from the start of your journey
• This will help later on, if you need to seek a lawyers help to help your loved one receive the benefits, insurance, and care giving they need.
• Keep copies of all papers in files and date them.