Updates

I am updating the timeline section of my blog everyday - please check the timeline section and links sections for new information that I've obtained.

July 23 - 

• Spoke with Priscilla Bobo from the Choices program today - perhaps the first light of hope.  She  is going to help him apply for TennCare/Medicaid which will help pay for nursing care.  He has an intake specialist named Frankie who will be here tomorrow at 2pm to do an evaluation.  They are asking for three months of bank statements and proof of identification.

• Spoke with Tim Murphy from Ft. Drum - he does not have any service records and stated that we need to file for his DD-2214 through a website called archives.gov.  

Wandering

This has been an issue since he came to live with us on July 4th.  He has wandered off four times.  The most recent being today.  He walked out while I was in the bathroom.  I jumped in the car and rode around for twenty minutes searching for him.  Prior to that, I went into his room and noticed he left his wallet, which has my phone number in it.

He's "taken walks" three  other times.  The first time he convinced me he could find his way back.  I showed him where the store was and gave him directions.  It is only a block away.  I waited 20 minutes to see if he could find his way back on his own (like I said, he is very convincing!).  After 30 minutes, I got a call from a stranger and went to pick him up.  He was about a mile away.

The second time, he went off while I was not paying attention.  He likes to sit outside in the back yard and watch the birds.  I was doing dishes and cleaning, then noticed he was no longer there.  This time, I called police because despite searching all the main and side streets, I couldn't find him.

The third time he snuck off, I found him with 10 minutes.

Today he was three miles away, in a bad part of town, in the middle of traffic.

He needs help! you say....
He needs to be in a home! you say...

I agree, but we cannot afford assisted living, and because he has no Medicare or Medicaid, there is no help paying for nursing care.  The VA is still sitting on his pension after four years of denials and 'lost" service records.

These are the issues a caretaker faces, and if you are an untrained layman, it makes life extremely difficult. Not only is it dangerous, it shouldn't have to be this way.  However; as you have seen from my other posts, long-term nursing care and custodial care are not covered by Medicare or Medicaid.

Friends have recommended these products and I am recommending them to you!

Pocket Finder - A GPS system for children.

Locator - For Elderly

The second option may seem like a benefit, but my father cannot even correctly turn the volume up on the TV, and I imagine he will press the wrong buttons and summon the police too often....sigh.

I plan on purchasing the pocketfinder because it is simple.

Stealing

Yesterday I noticed my jewelry was missing.  It isn't expensive jewelry, just a few bracelets and necklaces I set aside to repurpose and sell on Etsy because I am housebound with my father.

After looking around his room I noticed a few of my cameras, and other items he grabbed from throughout the house...sigh.  I found my necklaces in his briefcase.

I've been thinking about how to approach the situation, but it seems like a fruitless endeavor.  I mean, even if I ask him to refrain from pocketing my jewelry, I doubt he will remember.  So here are a few recommendations if your loved one with dementia begins to steal or misplace valuables.  These are obvious, but perhaps you can do this prior to caretaking to avoid the problem.  I had NO IDEA this would be an issue.

Recommendations:

• Lock your valuables in a safe place.
• Lock access to rooms where valuables are stored.
• Take Inventory of valuables so you know if they go missing.
• Talk to your loved one about taking items without asking.

Easing the Journey of an Alzheimer's or Dementia Caregiver

In 2008 my father lost his wife to cancer.  His wife was his primary caregiver and best friend.  My journey with helping my father began in 2009 and continues today.  Most of us are busy with our own lives, whether it is working full-time, raising children, or owning a business.  When one becomes a caregiver of a dementia or Alzheimer's patient it can significantly disrupt the peace in a family for several reasons.

Although we hate to admit it is a burden to care for a loved one, it can be daunting, stressful, and frustrating.  If you are reading this, and you have a parent with these diseases, I recommend you put your affairs in order now to ease the burden on your family when the time comes.

I am writing this guide to help individuals and families with little to no income and no family support work through the kinks and get the help you need to help you take care of your loved one.  Believe it or not, you may be the only person who will help your family member.

I am a single mother, in school full-time, and have minimal income from coaching junior roller derby.  My family has literally disowned my father and sent him to live with me in 2009.  It has been a struggle ever since.

I hope this guide helps those with minimal resources find help with your loved ones.

The full story of our journey is in the Story tab - I will have it updated tomorrow.